2008 Woodie Awards
Nick Swardson: It's cool doing comedy
Chelsea Reil
Issue date: 4/10/08 Section: The Inside
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Nick Swardson performed for almost an hour to a sold-out crowd Tuesday night. The Council for University Programs, Delta Zeta and Beta Gamma Epsilon sponsored the event. Keeping with the Springfest theme of "Kickin' It Grade School," the event was titled "Comedians We Wish We Had in Grade School."
The stand-up comic, who was first discovered by fellow comedian Jamie Kennedy, developed a following for his roles in "Grandma's Boy" and "Reno 911," in which he plays a gay male prostitute on roller skates. The Minneapolis native also appeared in "Malibu's Most Wanted" and "The Benchwarmers," both of which he wrote the original screenplays for, and acted in "Blades of Glory" and "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry."
One theme in his performance was his love of alcohol, as well as its drawbacks.
"I don't know if you've ever had alcohol poisoning," he said. "It's not fun. It's like a hangover times, I don't know, a million."
He also discussed his penchant for blacking out while drinking.
"I love drinking. I love blacking out," he said. "How fun is that? Why is it frowned upon? I love having no idea what I did last night, having it explained to me. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a detective. You wake up and you have a lot of mysteries to solve."
But Swardson said he had many dreams when he was younger, not just detective work. Comedy wasn't always in his plans, he said.
"It's cool doing comedy. Not my first choice. I wanted to be a ninja when I was a kid," he said. "I have nieces and nephews now, so I get to hear all of their little kid dreams. Sometimes it's not even a job, it's like, 'I want to be a fire truck.' What is that? I wish that everyone had to be the first thing they ever wanted to be. First thing. There would be ninjas running around, lots of princesses, quarterbacks throwing footballs to pirates."
Swardson talked about his personal experience - or lack thereof - with higher education after asking the audience members about their opinions of Northeastern.
"So, I commend you guys for going to school," he said. "I didn't go to college. You guys are learning stuff. I have a terrible vocabulary. I say like, five words. I say 'dude,' 'whatever,' 'fuck,' 'retarded' and 'gay.' … And 'retarded' is not offensive! One time I did a show and a woman came up to me after and was like, 'Excuse me. Excuse me! You said the word retarded a lot tonight and that offends me because my son is retarded.' And I go, 'Dude, you just called your son retarded. Your shit's weak! Your shit is wizz-eak!'"
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